I'm 38, a mom of two little boys Evan (9) and Jamie (4), a fiancé to my lovely partner Dru and I am an independent midwife - a self-confessed birth addict. I currently live in Tamworth Staffordshire, and I am a proud Brummy.
I was diagnosed with a rare cancer called Goblet Cell Adenocarcinoma of the appendix in Dec 2024 after nearly a year of misdiagnosis (was told it was endometriosis). My cancer is a high grade, stage 4 cancer which had spread from the appendix to my entire peritoneal space, bowel, diaphragm, all through reproductive system etc. It's a rare cancer affecting 1-2 in a million people. I never did do things the typical way.
This is an aggressive and difficult to treat cancer that I know nobody will ever say is 'cured'. But so far, I am doing well, and I count every little, tiny win as a massive victory. My most recent CT scan in July showed no evidence of tumours and my tumour markers are currently in the normal range, so this means that right now my disease appears to be stable. I am absolutely determined to do everything I can to stick around here for as long as I can for my boys, to be the superhero they deserve. I want to be the person that other people with this cancer can look to for hope - because as it stands, I have not yet found anyone living on the other side of a diagnosis like mine. I've always fancied being the poster girl for something, maybe this is it.
I have a very optimistic approach despite my pretty dire prognosis and the odds being stacked against me. I refuse to let cancer ruin my life. If anything, since my diagnosis I have become more determined to live than ever before. Although chemo does take its toll on my mental and physical health and although I'm not able to work as an independent midwife at the moment – not cute on the old bank balance, given that I am self-employed. Throughout treatment I have still managed to live my life RELATIVELY normally. Being able to get on little nights away camping, taking care of my kids, going out with family and friends. I even still go and release my inner rocker at gigs – most recent one being Ozzy & Black Sabbath at Villa Park.
Before I started chemo, I thought being in treatment meant life totally stopping, but I want people to know it's still totally possible to have a good life even when in cancer treatment, especially when you have the most AMAZING team of superheroes behind you.
Receiving the Super Scarf at that first meeting was honestly very special to me - it was a slice of beautiful colour and vibrancy in my black, scary world at the time. After this, I spotted people wearing theirs and it became a conversation point, uniting all of us who have had to face this huge life challenge, regardless of the specifics of our diagnosis. It also gave me hope to know that Jo had overcome serious adversity with her own health and helped me to think that maybe I can do the same.
But this wasn't the first time S&D had touched my heart...
Before cancer, when I was working in my beloved world of midwifery, I had a client who had the most BEAUTIFUL cardigan. Every time I visited her, she was wearing it and eventually I just had to copy her and get my own. It was her who introduced me to Scamp & Dude. Anyway, so I admired her hugely and after getting my own cardigan (AKA shamelessly ripping her off) I began to wear it whenever I needed to feel brave and strong, like she was. I'm not joking when I say, this cardigan has been glued to me throughout my entire 'cancer journey' so far. It was what I wore when I first got dressed after getting all my drains and tubes out after surgery, it was what I wore on the journey home from hospital and what I wore when I first attended my chemo unit. In fact, it's what got me and Chris talking during my first chemo session. I wore it recently to Ozzy Osbourne's funeral procession and was bloomin’ photographed wearing it, and crying for God's sake, and ended up in the papers! Honestly that cardigan gets everywhere. Once I had the Super Scarf, I treated it the same way and still do. This is true power dressing!
So S&D has played a real part in my story. S&D genuinely makes me feel stronger and like I can do this!
When cancer came and ruined the fun,
I felt I was the only one.
'You need surgery and chemo' the doctors said,
'It's a long and uncertain road ahead.'
Chemotherapy isn't easy,
I'm exhausted, numb, and sometimes queasy.
But there are a few things that help me to cope,
(aside from my kids, cups of tea and hope)
My chemo nurses are my rays of light,
Who guide me through my darkest nights.
The first time I met one, I was drowning in tears
But with comforting words, she eased my fears.
'You're strong' she said, 'and we're here for you'
Then she handed me a lovely soft bundle of blue,
A leopard print scarf with a pom pom margin,
With a lightning bolt for when I need supercharging.
She said, 'We've got your back throughout this fight'
And I wrapped that scarf around me and cuddled it tight.
The sweetest, most unexpected gift,
Brought a smile to my face and gave my spirit a lift.
Months on and my scarf is less scarf and more cape,
When I wear it, I feel loved, I feel strong, I feel safe.
It's handy for shade on a sunny day
And an extra layer when it's dark and grey,
It's a belt, a blanket, a headscarf too
And the perfect prop for a game of peekaboo.
It's somewhere to hide when it all gets too much,
It's bright and gorgeous and soft to touch.
It's a symbol of togetherness, of unity and power
Amongst my cancer sisters in our toughest hour.
It's a gentle reminder of my nurse's belief,
That I can and I will slay this evil cancer beast.
With my nurses and scamp & dude on my side
I'll never be alone on this rollercoaster ride.
And one day when I'm better, and this cancer's in my past,
I'll wear my scarf and remember when superheroes had my back.’
Thank you so much for your amazing words, Alex. Follow Alex’s journey on Instagram @myappendixtriedtokillme.
